There were as many people in the theater seeing “Runner Runner” at 10:00pm on Thursday night as there were touchdowns in the rain-soaked and backup-laced Browns/Bills game. I work in the online poker industry, though, so I had no choice other than to pony up the $11.50 and go see it. Here’s what I thought.

The movie is from the same writers as the classic poker flick “Rounders” and, as such, has a similar feel: lots of narration and lots of poker analogies, but with less John Malkovich. It’s an hour-and-a-half, but with the half-dozen or so previews attached to it, I was in the theater for a little less than two hours.

Justin Timberlake’s character, Richie Furst, is a master’s student at Princeton moonlighting as an online poker affiliate. He doles out poker site “coupons” to his friends before apparently randomly realizing he needs to make about $60,000 in a short time span in order to pay tuition. He heads to the online poker tables on a site called Midnight Black, runs his roll up to $50,000, and then is a victim of what he believes is cheating.

The above paragraph of this article was all of about five to ten minutes of the movie, so don’t think “Runner Runner” is just a bunch of people sitting around playing online poker for 90 minutes.

Furst and his friend graph the statistical results of his hands and notice that his opponent’s win rate was out of the norm… by a mile. Yes, this is based on a true story, but rather than post his findings on an internet forum like PocketFives, Furst flies down to Costa Rica to confront the site’s owner, Ivan Black (Ben Affleck), about the misgivings.

When the two finally meet aboard the ship “The House,” derived from the old adage, “the house always wins,” Black agrees to give Furst his money back and also offers him a job, saying that his site makes $750,000 per day, so riches could be in store. His rationale for what went wrong is that a backdoor was built into the poker room’s code to allow people to see other players’ hole cards. Sound familiar? This author chuckled.

Anyway, Black gives Furst his money back, which seems like it means the movie will end after 20 minutes and I can catch the end of the football game. Instead, Furst agrees to work for Black, which basically means bribing a bunch of Costa Rican officials and blackmailing a “super affiliate” who is working with Ultimate Bet, which is mentioned by name.

If I had a dollar for every time I saw a person get chicken stock dumped over them before being pushed into crocodile-infested waters down in Costa Rica, I’d have exactly $0. Yes, that happened. There’s also a rather uncomfortable JT lovemaking scene. Cry me a river.

Okay, back to the plot. It comes to light that Black is using players’ deposits as his own personal bank. My friend who was with me leaned over and said, “Wait, this movie is about Full Tilt?” There’s lots of jargon about affiliate rev-share, CPA, rake, and EV that poker players will probably be entertained with.

I really want to spoil the ending for you, but I won’t (hint: everyone dies). I’ll let you pay the $10 to figure it out.

I’m not quite sure how you’d spin this movie as a reason there needs to be regulation of online poker in the United States. Sure, there was a gap in the code that people exploited and Black was using poker players’ funds to throw extravagant, carnival-like shindigs. Those could be prevented with oversight. But, I’m having a hard time imagining a lawmaker like the soon-to-be-retiring Spencer Bachus watching “Runner Runner” and thinking, “You know, the gambling guys were right the whole time.”

If anything, the movie taught me not to go to Costa Rica without a lot of money to bribe police. Also, I learned that chicken stock attracts alligators and that Gunner from “Nashville” is actually British. I also learned that Costa Rica, according to a few of the characters in the movie, is an island.

What do you guys think? If you’ve seen “Runner Runner,” post here and give us your review. If you haven’t seen it, let us know what you’re expecting.

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